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IMG_9478I decided to have my brows groomed this morning so I got up and prepped up early. I was about to leave for the terminal when my good friend, Ge asked to meet me at the terminal. We then agreed to go to Megamall together since we're heading the same way.
Once we got there, we went up to the fifth level where we noticed that there was an event at the Mega Trade Hall. It was a baby fair and I was enthralled to see all the cute stuff on display.
But I headed for Brow Lounge first to have my brows groomed while Ge went inside the Mega Trade Hall to look around. Once I was done, I went in the baby fair with him and though I've really nothing to buy baby stuff for, I enjoyed looking at all the fascinating things in each booth.
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IMG_9483We literally just roamed around for sometime before we decided to have lunch. We went out of the fair hall and went to Tokyo Tokyo to eat lunch, just because I was craving for Japanese food.
I always like hanging out with Ge. He's one of the few best and truest people I know. I was just a bit sad that Jaycee wasn't able to join us on this particular bonding since she has work to do.
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It's January and where are we? We seemed to have gone back to where we started. Video calls and text messages... Though the only difference is, this time there's no us. No kissing emoticons, no sweet texts and no 'I love you's'.

You were right after all when you said that things will be different a year from then. But I guess apart from the part that we've broken up that time and the fact that you're now in Seoul, is that I've come to love you more. 

Though, this time I've learned to love myself better and realized my worth as a person. How ironic life is, eh? I know my worth but somehow, I'm still in love with the same man who broke my heart last April.

I was expecting then that by this point in time I'll be dating someone better. Someone whom I thought would replace you... Yet here I am, writing this entry a few minutes after you hang up on Facetime.

You let me watch you play live again and just as your last set ended, you lingered in the frame long enough for me to hear Eric Benet's Last Time playing in the background... 

I wanted to cry but thank God you told me you were gonna hang up...

Why are we here, Mike? At this point, shouldn't we be ignoring each other like ex's usually do? Why do we find ourselves singing the same part of the same old songs we know in unison? 

I know that to expect more from this could lead me to an even harder heartbreak... But it's worth a try, that's for a certain...
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My decision to have my tattoo this evening was made out of the blue. Though I've planned to do it for nearly two years, I guess I never really had the courage to do it until now. I was talking to Mike on iMessage when mom asked me to do it today. I guess part of the reason why I did it today amongst all other days was because of Mike.

In the last few weeks, we have been in contact. I've no idea why but he seems to have more free time lately, that he even took the time to call me via-Facetime for two weekends. Last night, he even let me watch him play live for the first time...

I must admit, that after all this time I still get butterflies like I did every time we talk before. Among all the men I've dated, it's with Mike that I never lost that feeling with. He's just different in a way I myself could not explain. Perhaps, I just love him still regardless of our breakup...

Hence the tattoo...

Though, I've long decided on the design, it's today that fate chose for me to do it. I took it as a sign that I've grown stronger as a person to finally face my fears and still keep my hopes up for a positive future regardless of the guarantee.

To teach myself to be carefree and unexpecting is not such an easy task for I've been a dreamer all my life. I've had my head on the clouds for so long that facing reality and breaking free from my thoughts took longer than it should have. But I am happy.

I am happy that I can find happiness in the most little thing. That I appreciate life and living it better than before. I've finally unleashed my inner wanderlust and started traveling and charging into the unknown. I love it.

I guess, the whole experience of losing Mike has taught me more about life than that I've learned in the past two decades. I thank him for that... for giving me the chance to discover myself and what I truly want to do and most importantly to love truly and unconditionally.

Shall the good Lord give us another chance in the near future, I know I'll be ready. I'll be better. For not only have I got my feet on the ground but I've also learned to love myself.

I know people would say that I'm expecting for nothing but I have a strong feeling about things lately and I know better than to trust what they say. I'm in the point of my life wherein I trust myself more than others. I'm proud of myself for that.

Freedom. Hope. Love.

I still believe in life regardless of all the disappointments, the pain, grief and despair. There's more to life than the pain it brings and it has brought. I've learned to embrace it and I've never been happier.

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We hate what we don’t understand, but actually when we try to understand what we hate, that’s the only time we can make the change…
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IMG_8531This year my goals are pretty simple. I just want to learn how to apply makeup well, continue running (and run several fun runs), eat and most importantly, to travel.
Last weekend, I went to Laguna with my best friend, his mom, his sister Tricia and his sister's friend, Lui.
He picked me up at around 3am last Saturday and we went to their house in Baras where we chatted with his family for a while before we finally retired to bed. The next morning, Luigi arrived and we started to prep up.
We departed at around 10am and stopped by the Hypermarket in Tanay to gather supplies and well, while we're at it Tricia decided that we grab some Palabok first. Shortly after, we're back on the road and soon we stopped by a quaint restaurant where we ate a sumptuous bowl of Lomi topped with pork cracklings. Yum!
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IMG_8521Afterwards, we drove to Lumban to buy some very special and all-time favorite local delicacies: espasol and white cheese. The espasol is like no other. It isn't the kind that is wrapped in a long strip of paper but covered in too much powder and is just actually just a quarter of the size of the wrapper.
No. It's wrapped in a strip of paper that is about 3.5 inches long, not covered in too much powder and is actually 3.5 inches long! And yes, it's very delicious--it's addicting and did I mention that they're really cheap, too? Oh yes.
IMG_8522The white cheese wasn't the typical kind as well. For one, it's extremely fresh (the one on the picture was fresh from the stove top) and it's practically oozing from its packaging. It's flavor was just right, not too strong like the ones we can usually buy from the market or from the city streets. Bottom line, it's really good!
Soon after, we headed for Panguil Eco Park to get the real deal started. We arrived quite late in the afternoon but just in time to enjoy the place with the sun still up. They showed me around a bit and then we hiked for nearly an hour, crossed the river in so many ways several times to get to the end (or beginning?) of the river where a majestic waterfall awaited us. The current was a bit strong and we all got bruises (well, at least I did) but I guess, that's the beauty of it. To be honest, it wasn't the easiest trail to follow, a bit exhausting but at the same time, exhilarating.
It was at that moment that I realized what I truly want to do all over again, which is to go to other places like this and discover the beauty that nature has to offer in every aspect no matter how hard it is to get there. Also, sharing this experience with my companions made it really meaningful and special, which made me look forward for more mini-adventure trips like this in the future.
Going back, after we basked in the beauty (and pain) of the waterfall, we headed back down. Halfway through, we stopped and waited for our turn in the water tube post and while waiting we tried to play against the river current a bit and chatted. Soon after, we were lying comfortably on our backs as we watertubed down the mountain.
The fun didn't actually stop there; though we all felt tired and sleepy we went down to the lower part of the dam and played around the water a bit more. I guess this is one of the most memorable parts of our time there. First is the waterfall and how I literally sighed in relief and awe once my best friend took my hand in his and looked at it and bathed in it together.
The next one was this part in the dam where the four of us tried to charge against strong current but my best friend ended up trying to pull his pants back up because the water was too strong that it almost stripped him off. LOL! At the same time, we tried to do it again several more times, but the I always get carried away by the strong current that my best friend and the other had to get a hold of me and save me from drowning for about three more times. LOL!
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It was crazy but it's the happiest I've been in months. I have never felt so alive, so relieved of all emotional and physical pain. For that weekend alone, I feel like I've started anew. Later that evening, we tried our best to dry off ourselves and went to have dinner at a local eatery, which was Manay's.
We were shivering from the cold but we barely mind for soon after dinner, we checked in at a warm spring resort and practically inhabited the pool.
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We stayed in the pool for hours trying to fight off the cold gusts of wind but were not successful until about 10pm. LOL. Believe me, getting off that pool is the hardest decision we had to make that day but we had to do it. After showering, we stayed up a bit more to have a drink but we went to bed eventually and slept till late in the morning.
We had a very suIMG_8583mptuous breakfast; one that I've never had in a very long time and one that, until then, I never thought I missed having. After breakfast, we roamed around the resort a bit and decided to finally go back on the road. We headed for Liliw to buy some shoes and slippers. We decided to look around and go from shop to shop before finally buying what we really like as to compare prices, quality and design. We did that practically all afternoon; we stopped by at a small eatery to have lunch. We had a really great Pansit Palabok/Malabon for lunch, one that is incomparable to the ones we previously had. We also took chances with the local rice cakes they were selling on the street, just to know how they taste like.
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We honestly ate so much that afternoon that we ended up waddling around the place. We roamed around just a bit more before we hopped back on the van and went to a stream where local townswomen were doing their laundry earlier that day. The water was really cool and clear and what's best was that we found a hidden Station of the Cross statues scattered around deeper in the forest area.
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After that, we stopped by at a local park where we played around like children at the Marvel statues and Land Before Time statues. Juvenile as it may seem, rarely do we get the chance to act as such and sometimes, it's not as bad as it may seem. Even when little children looked at us in total wonder.
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IMG_8806But like any other story, our day and our trip has to come to its end. Not too long after that, we got back on the road and headed back to Baras, only stopping by at another branch of Manay's later that evening to have dinner. But though the weekend has come to its end, the memory of all the experiences and genuine happiness will always remain with me... I cannot stress enough how thankful I am to have these people in my life. May we have more weekend adventures ahead of us.
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Mia San Juan. 26. Married. Beauty, Lifestyle, Travel, and Food blogger.

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