Little Miss Apple Pie

I have been in love before, God knows how many times I have fallen in and out of love but I have never felt this way with anyone else, ever. I know that each person is a different story, a different journey but they all have something in common and that it always feels like it’s not meant to last. And even if at first it felt like it is, eventually you’ll realize that it isn’t what you think it is after all, it won’t even take you long to know that what you have is not for keeps.

You’ll soon find yourself bored, easily frustrated and eventually, every little thing the other would do or say becomes annoying.

It’s a never ending cycle, it could go on and on for as long as it could, but when the wheel finally stops, everything will just start to fall in place, as if the universe has conspired with your hopes and dreams, making each of them come true down to every last details. And although it's neither perfect nor magical as the previous relationships you had, you may even sometimes feel like an old married couple, but still the strong connection, that amazing feeling you get at the mere sight of your other half would make you think and believe that it’s okay to be contented and you will be.

For once in your life you would stop looking for something more, your heart, no matter how many times it has been stolen and broken before, would feel brand new. That’s love. True love. You might even be surprised to find out that you have just fallen in love for the first time.

I know I did.

I have fallen, been caught, hurt, stumbled and rose again too many times before. I have complained how my heart has been broken numerous times before, how I can no longer trust anyone, how I would never let anyone in my life wholly again, only to find out that my heart would feel as if it’s new, as if it’s falling again for the first time. It’s whole and it felt like it, and that’s how true love is. It heals all wounds, gradually, and you may get into a bumpy ride every now and then but you’ll still feel the same.

At the end of every worse nights and fights you would still feel the same, even stronger perhaps.

It’s funny how most of us still search this world for that one person that would make our being complete when sometimes all we have to do after all was to get on with our daily life. For all you know, you have already met that person you just can’t see him yet because you’re still blinded by another but everything happens for a reason, I strongly believe in that. You have to go through a series of ups and downs first to become the person your other half deserves.

Be patient.

No matter how many wrong choices you make in this life, if you’re bound to be with that one person you will be.

Crazy and vague as it seems yet that’s how exactly the universe works.

That’s fate.

That’s kismet.

As of now... this is little bean's actual size.

Too tiny and fragile but it sure gives me an even bigger appetite.

LOL #MyLittleBean #ActualSize

To whom do I owe such happiness I feel?
For the one who makes me anticipate to see the morning light once again

For making the sky brighter than it seems and
For making the flowers bloom though it's not spring

For making the world seem like a better place
Even if in truth it's full of danger and plagues

Ah, alas!
Now I know...

The sun has never shone this bright until you came along
My sweet sunshine.

This is a homework I made when I was a junior in high school... It's sort of a letter to someone that I were to marry in the future. Looking back to it now, I realized that the things I wanted to do the most with the person I were to marry remained the same even after nearly a decade and this time, I know that I have found the right person to share this letter of dreams with and to do all these with him. In fact, we have already started... Enjoy reading!

Someday I will wake up next to you on a Saturday morning, and snuggle in bed till we get hungry. You'll cook breakfast and brew me coffee and I will be wearing that big white shirt of yours and your boxers as we guzzle cup after cup while we watch random movies all day. We would laugh at comedies, cry at dramas and scream at the top of our lungs at thriller films.

In the afternoon we will stroll in the park as we sip our favorite Frappes and talk about random things in our life as we sit on our favorite bench. We would talk about our past and our future, most importantly. After that we would either shop for the night's dinner or go to a friend's place to hang out. Then we'd go home laughing at the silly things we said and did the whole day, then we'd kiss as you turn the key that locks our apartment door and whisper sweet nothings in my ear.

We'd get in the tub as soon as we get in our apartment and I will light a jasmine scented candle while you turn off the lights and get us a bottle of champagne. We will talk and laugh until we decided to finally have dinner and you will hug me from behind as I cook. You will set up the table as you get my award-winning Blueberry cheesecake from the fridge that I made especially for tonight.

After dinner, we would clear things up in the kitchen together since we gave up arguing about "who would wash the dishes tonight" ages ago. Then we would get into our jammys and cuddle in the couch as we watch a wrestling match on TV, a basketball game or random shows on Lifestyle Network. I would surely get a little droopy, so you would turn the Telly off and carry me to bed. I would lay in your bare chest as you wrap a strong arm around me and I would feel perfectly safe; it would be the best feeling in the world. Then we would either continue to doze off or make intense love with the moonlight as our only witness...

In the morning when we wake up, we would smile at each other and thank God for giving us another day to spend together. We would get up from bed, earlier than we usually do to go to church and we would have fun teaching and making children happy at Sunday school. We would make them cookies and chocolate drink for snacks and hug and kiss each one of them when Sunday school is done.

One day I will hand you a small box and it would contain the great news, that we will finally have our first child and I will see that great gleam in your eyes in surprise.

You would take care of me every step of the way and make me feel good about myself despite of the changes that will happen to me. We would record her every firsts, her first heart beat, her first ultrasound photo, her first day, her first smile, first word, first step, first nail clippings, first hair cut and first birthday. And watch and look at them every end of the year. We would surely shed tears of joy as we watch her dance around the living room, one Christmas Eve.

We would raise her to be a good child, not only of us, but also of God. We would learn from our parent’s mistake and try our best to be better parents ourselves. We would love her, give her time and attention and teach her great things. She would attend bible school too, and would be studying piano, voice and ballet. She will be the fulfillment of my dreams and hopes, and you would love her like I always wanted to be loved by my father as a little girl.

I am not expecting a perfect life; all I wanted to have is to live a happy life with you, blessed by God. :) I will love you every waking moment of my life... as long as I shall live. :)

But where, I ask you my love, should I stand?
With all these shards of glass scattered across the floor
The empty bottle of brandy in your hand and a lighted cigar on the other
Tell me how long shall I stand still in this little corner
Trying to avoid the mess that surrounds you
The mess that shattered you like the broken china at your feet

I would love to cross this space between us
Take every sharp sting and walk as if I walk on marble
But you said stop
Tell me where I would go back in time
Just to reach you right now

For how long will we stay this way
Broken, shattered and weakened by nostalgia
Will we ever sing together again?

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It took me nearly three years to start and finish writing a short story and now that I have written it, I couldn't figure out the right title for it. Which is a bit frustrating, but hey! Achievement unlocked. Here it is, written a couple of weeks back during one of my sleepless nights brought by the pressure of the board exam.

Nota Bene: Haven't proof read this yet, forgive the laziness. LOL



The both of them sat on the bed silently that only the sound of the rain outside could be heard; he lit a cigarette as she sat next to him, terrified and trembling. He brushed his hair away from his eyes and looked at her calmly; he too was troubled but not as much as she was, perhaps the cigarette helped him calm down but who knows for sure, maybe he’s quite used to be in such situation considering his history with women like her.

“What are we supposed to tell them?” She finally spoke breaking the almost deafeaning silence between them.

He took a deep breath and moved further back in the bed to lean on the headboard. “Nothing. I don’t think we need to tell anybody about this, I mean, we could take care of it ourselves.” He answered.

“I am not so sure about your plan. It’s too risky. I might get into a lot more trouble.” She murmured as he stared blankly at the wall trying to think of another way out.

“Well it’s either that or carry the burden forever.” He blurted out that made her glance at him sharply. She knew it was a mistake, she knew that this would happen, she knows exactly what the outcome would be, yet she still agreed to do it and now here she is, in the same room where they had done it thinking of a way out of the mess they have made.

“But don’t you think it’s better if we give it a chance? I mean, who are we to play God anyway?”

“Listen,” he said as he moved closer to her. “I told you from the very start that I don’t want this kind of responsibility—“

“I am not giving you a responsibility!” She said louder than she had intended to. “I just wanted to let you know… and I just need your help for now. I need a little support. When this is all over you don’t have to worry a thing. I can handle it.”

He reached for her hand and pulled her close for a hug. “But that would ruin your career, perhaps even your entire life if you won’t get rid of it now.” He whispered to her but she shook her head as she pulled away from him.

“Don’t talk about it as if it’s not there. It’s breathing, it can hear you.”

“Let it hear me! Then maybe it would just get rid of itself!” She stood up and walked away from the bed, away from him.

She stood by the window, watching the rain and the empty street.

“We’ve talked about this before.” She said tearfully. He sighed and lit another cigar before he stood up and hugged her from behind.

“It would be alright, you just have to trust me in this one. Okay? Everything is going to be just fine, we’ll just tell your folks that you’re going on a road trip with the gang for a couple of days and they would never know what happened.” He said reassuringly. She turned to face him and she looked him deep in the eyes.

“Will you promise not to leave until it’s all over?” She asked him and he smiled warmly at her.

“Even until it’s over, I’ll stay.” And with that, they hugged but their brief moment of joy was interrupted by a soft movement from under the bed.

They both walked toward it and pulled out a huge black bag. He opened it revealing the head of a middle aged man, struggling to speak through the duct tape that covered his mouth.

“I’m sorry boss, but you deserve this.” She said coldly and dangerously as she pulled out a knife from beneath the blanket. The knife caught the light and without another word, she drove the knife straight into the man’s chest.

He came in to back her up by smashing a lamp on his head and just as she thought that the deed was done, he stood up and pulled something out of the bedside drawer. It was a gun with a silencer and before she knew it the man’s struggling stopped as blood spluttered on the floor.

“Now, it’s gone. Let’s clean up, grab the money and jewels in the safe and leave before it gets dark.” He said and few moments later they were burning the dead man inside the large fireplace in the living room as they cleaned up the blood spluttered bedroom.

The rain has stopped and they left the house with the fireplace still roaring wildly as the cadaver succumbs into the flames.

NOTA BENE: This was written in 2011, I think. Or maybe late 2012.