Little Miss Apple Pie

It has been quite a long time since I woke up beside you again. 

For a long time, I have been fond of sleeping alone, hugging no one but my body pillow, hence making me sleep longer and stay in bed longer than I used to do.

But today, I woke up earlier than the usual and why? I asked myself. Well, it's because God woke me up to let me know that the sun is rising and you're beside me. Truly, it is the best way to wake up... seeing you looking so calm and relaxed, hearing your soft snore and your hand on my waist.

I have longed for this, and I have prayed hard for this to happen again and as usual, God heard my cries, my plea's and felt my sorrow for longing for you and so he woke me up early to see the sunrise today. To see you. To feel and touch your face, pinch your nose and to kiss you good morning.

And though you have gone away again to work somewhere far away, still I will not forget how wonderful this day has been. What we did today is pretty ordinary, we just stayed in bed, took short naps, cuddled, laughed and played random games on our smart phones together and talked about the most random things.

But this simpleness, I would not trade it for any earthly treasure, for this simpleness is worth more than anything in this world, because this simpleness is grace; a beautiful, magnificent blessing of having you.

People used to say that love is a matter of give and take, but tonight, I realized that loving should not be so for God has taught us that to love is to give and to give everything, purely, sincerely, wholeheartedly as He has given us generous blessings for each passing day, as He has given His only son to save us from our sins.

And so, I shall take it from Him from now on. I will love you, now and for always, unconditionally without expecting anything in return for I love you and I love you truly and I will do my best to give you the love, care and understanding that you deserve.

I used to anticipate for sunsets, just because it looks beautiful and romantic, but now I look forward to every sunrise, for it signifies strong hope of being another day closer to seeing you again.

I just feel like ending this with a good song that reminds me of how much this day has done to me, of how much good you have done me since you came into my life and of how much I feel blessed for having been given the gift of you... I knew this song for a very long time but never fully felt and grasp its meaning until you came... Je t'aime.

NOTA BENE: I don't exactly know what to call this kind of story but I hope you'd still enjoy it. This is from a man's point of view, the response to this (woman's POV) will be posted soon, I'm working on it. LOL


No one could tell the story of how it had ended, not even I, who had been still so deeply in love with you at the time, know what changed your mind.

As far as I know we had an understanding that whatever we were we'd still be together, even if the universe do not want us to we would still hold each other's hand and fight for whatever kind of love that we had. But like a child in a haze in class, all I heard was the bell signaling for the end of the day, clueless of what had previously happened before it had ended. Unprepared of what reality has to offer.

I'm not the kind who gives a lecture or vomit thoughts on love as if everything revolves around it, no. You were a believer of true love and I--well, I was just fascinated by the thought of it. You believe in love though you try so hard to conceal it, you made me believe that true love exists without you knowing it thus turning me back into its salvation. And with you, for a moment in time, I have seen and been into paradise and I like how it feels like, how it tasted like.

Now I sit here, recalling the last time I held your hand, the last time I kissed your lips and the last time we made sweet love... It was a Saturday and we walked around town hand in hand with smiles on our faces. I remember how the cold October wind lightly blew your hair as you pull it out of a tight bun, I remember how your hair smells and how you make those cute little gestures that you’re not aware of especially when you’re sleepy.

Right then and there I knew I wanted to keep you for good, especially when you allowed me to bask in your thoughts of me and of us. I must admit that I have finally thought of settling down and I want to settle down with you. For the first time in my life I wanted to do things right with a woman, I was ready to let the other go as you have left your previous lover the morning after we made love for the first time.

You were magnificent in my eyes. I adored you and that is something I do not do.

I remember the sound of your laugh, the look of genuine joy on your face whenever you laugh and how sadness and tears could turn you into someone different. You would not sob, the tears would just fall and your beautiful eyes that once gleamed in joy will be suddenly filled with pain. Such look of yours made me want to just wrap my arms around you, soothe you and kiss you. I have seen you in your best days and I have seen you in your worse, yet I still feel the same, even stronger if I must say.

I love you, I love every bit of you and everything about you. I wish I could tell you that right now but it’s too late, I’m too late. Now I wonder if I had told you earlier, would it still be me holding those hands and would I be the one whom you would wait to come home every day?

I chuckled as these could have been’s crossed my mind. For you, like my music, came into my life and touched my heart in such way that nothing else in this world could ever do or make me feel. All is fair in love even the agony it brings, but that is something you chose not to believe and understand.

As I sit here, I look at you from a distance and I remember that this is exactly how it was when I saw you for the first time and I find it ironically funny and painful at the same time that you left me the exact way you came into my life.

Is it goodbye for my domain name NowhereGirl.net already? To be honest, I am not sure. But I would really still love to have it renewed. I transferred back here in blogger because it has recently expired and I do not have the financial resources yet to renew it. For a person with a stable online teaching job, I am pretty broke and I think I need help LOL --- but seriously.

Well anyway, I am currently waiting for 8:30pm as I will be having yet another class. I honestly enjoy teaching Japanese students online, I have just found the perfect teaching job for me. It's actually a dream come true, since I have always wanted a home based job so I could still look after my younger siblings and get some alone time to work out and read. It is pretty convenient too, not only for me but also for my family especially with my mother who always needs me around to look after the household and the business, I am hoping and fervently praying that I don't get tired of doing this.

Anyway, I'll be ending it here for now, I'll make a new theme for this site and this time an original. I miss coding, it's been a while so wish me luck. :)

Love is sharing a whole medium sized pizza. :)) Meet my baby brother, Patrick. He is the face you often see in my Facebook page and in my Instagram account (if you follow me, of course). He is four, and will be turning 5 on May. He is my little sunshoine. The reason why someday I wanted to have, love and care for children of my own. And this little guy is a pizza monster! Was able to eat three slices by himself! :))

After showering a couple of minutes ago, I turned to face the mirror to brush my hair but instead, I was drawn into this photo of us.
It's been stuck there for a long time, but I guess this distance makes me realize the importance of the most little detail about us... About having you around--I was nostalgic for a while.

I laid there, next to him, feeling his breath rise and fall beside me, and I thought, sometimes there is so much more said when words are unspoken and moves are not made...
- The Parachute Diaries

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Recently we have been apart, Mike and I, and I meant that literally. No, we have not been drifting apart but these days he's caught up with a lot of work that we rarely see each other.
Last Saturday was the first time we have actually sat down, hugged, kissed and talked after nearly a month, but that didn't last long. Before the night ended he's got his bags packed and he was gone before sunrise.




But though you stood by the door
You looked at me
You were hesitating to go
But go you must
For your days are planned
And I am here
I'll sit right here
In the same spot where you left me
And I will wait
For a million sunrise
For a million dawns
Patiently
I'll wait for your return




Distance is nothing when you love a person, and it's hard, really hard... made me realize that I'm not as strong as I thought I always am but though it's hard, it's teaching me to become stronger, to become more patient, understanding, faithful, God-fearing and even more loving...

I may crave for him, for not only the taste of his mouth but also for his mind and soul and he may feel the same for me, but we must wait, and we must and we shall endure this distance between us and instead of allowing it to make us drift afar, we must fight the coldness and instead allow the distance to draw us nearer to each other.

This distance is just a fraction of space compared to the great God who has brought us together despite of all the odds, despite of all our differences, despite where we literally were before we met. This distance is nothing compared to the great God that has put us into this test, preparing us for the worse, making us stronger...making OUR LOVE stronger.

"I didn't want to kiss you goodbye, that was the trouble, I wanted to kiss you goodnight." -Ernest Hemingway