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Leafing through
Random photographs
Caught in a wisp
Of nostalgia

I find it a bit amusing

How possible it is
To feel the same old feeling
By only looking through
A series of what has been
It’s like
Being transported into
An abyss of memories

For a moment

It felt like it is still
The last day of November
When we first made love
And I wake up next to you
The next morning
In the wee hours of December

Leafing through

Random photographs
Caught in a wisp
Of nostalgia

I felt everything coming back

It felt so fuzzy and warm
Made me feel comfortable
From the inside
But as I set down
Each photograph
I realize where I am headed to

Leafing through

Random photographs
Caught in a wisp
Of nostalgia

I remembered

How much I loved
And what I have lost
All in a brief moment
Of recall.
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3 comments
How do I express this loneliness that I feel?
I should be happy with him
Glad for having him
But I am not.
How do I express this emptiness I feel?
I know he tries his best
To make things work
But that is just the thing
He is not him.

How do I express this loneliness I feel?
I wanted to try and start again
But no matter how I try
No matter what I tell myself
I could not get the satisfaction
From what he tries to bring

How do I express this loneliness I feel?
We could have done wonders
We seem perfect for each other
The synchronization
The chemistry
It is all there
All given to me
But all these things,
I wish not to take from him
But from the other who first came before him.

But how do I tell him how unhappy I am?
I wanted to depart
And would rather live on my own
Than try to make it work
With someone
I could never have feelings for.
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I just had a dream and I dunno whether it's good or bad, though. 

There I was walking down the aisle. The air was filled with  that Eric Bennet song entitled The Last Time...

I looked around and saw how much people there was, looking at me in big grins. Most of them I recognize; friends from real life, acquaintances and family... In this sea of familiar faces, I found myself searching for the groom and just before I reached the aisle, I saw him standing with his back on me. 

When he finally turned to look at me... My heart was sent aflutter. He was smiling as tears fall from his eyes. Somehow, I wanted that moment to never end... Seeing how happy he was. How happy I felt.

It felt too real that waking up hurts. 

I thought I was doing good; I didn't know that one dream can actually send me back to square one.
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Mia San Juan. 26. Married. Beauty, Lifestyle, Travel, and Food blogger.

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